Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
