How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
