there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
