actually, I'm a sock model
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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