people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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