Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
