Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
