We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
