I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
