Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
