Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
