and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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