i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
