and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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