I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
