that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
