Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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