Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
