just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
