Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize