I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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