i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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