i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think my tv is drunk
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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