he thought i was a dude.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
