On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
