Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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