Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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