all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
