I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
