The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
