Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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