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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said

  (770): View more from Georgia

  she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You KNEW her power was out...

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  What are you wearing to our high school reunion?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"

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• (916): View more from California

  If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.

  (916): View more from California

  It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.

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• (600): View more from

  I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  Or a large amount of condoms?!?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.

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• (530): View more from California

  I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds

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