my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
