your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
