All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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