Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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