talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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