Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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