There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
