I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
