im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize