It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
