How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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