Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
