M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
