Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
