some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
