im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
