I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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