if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
