Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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