I faked an abortion last night.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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