Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
