Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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