he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
