She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
