I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
