If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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