Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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