Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
