soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize