My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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