i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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