Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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