Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize