haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
