i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize