Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
