Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this just has baby written all over it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
