With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
