Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
