HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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