careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
