I puked a lego.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
