I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
