Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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