Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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