You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
