i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
