Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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