i dont even know how to be here
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
